Saturday, August 13, 2011
I realize that I'm extremely lucky to be a homeowner. I have a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood in a quiet town. I couldn't be happier. Now lets talk about how much owning a home sucks. Once you purchase your home, the work begins. In the past year, we have had mice in the basement, bees in the kitchen (on going) an ice dam that flooded our bedroom and 15 feet of snow that ruined our ceiling. There's always some bullshit thing going on that you either have to fix, pay someone to fix or ignore until they wear you down. The "they" I'm referring to is our wives. I don't care if you move into a million dollar mansion or a modest abode, if you have a wife, she will want to change everything. According to my wife, we currently need: new stairs, a new walk, hot top for the driveway, a new room for my son, a new back door, a swing set and a new deck. I realize that some things are unavoidable but I'm the type of guy who likes to spread things out over like 5 years. One project a year is more than enough in my eyes but not theirs. They will want to paint, refinish, expand and then move. In that order. I know she's a woman and "she has the right to change her mind", I've heard that quote 3 times a day for the past 3 years but if we ever try and change our minds on anything, that shit doesn't fly. I'm all about delaying the inevitable, that is my game plan and she is aware because once they get something in their heads, it's just a matter of time before they wear you down with incessant nagging about how we don't do anything around here and why wouldn't we want to improve our homes. They fail to mention that the reason we are improving our homes is so we can sell it and move to a more expensive one just to start this excruciating process all over again. I guess I should just be glad that she hasn't tried to upgrade husbands yet. Although this would be very difficult, I'm sure there's someone out there who might be on the same home improvement game plan as her. He would have to have no job and unlimited funds but who knows, he may be out there. I guess it could be worse, she could have a husband who didn't notice a woodpecker punching golf ball size holes in our siding because he was taking a nap on the couch after a long day of golf.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Welcome to Aruba! Another woman was just reported missing while snorkeling in Aruba. First reports from Aruban authorities is that she "drifted out to sea in strong currents". Now I know the reaction from the US is to immediately blame Aruba as a whole for this tragedy but let me try to change your minds. Lets start by saying that nowhere in the entire world is completely safe and that there are bad people everywhere. Knowing this, how could we possibly place the blame on Aruba for this? We're talking about possibly the best place on earth people. The sand is pure white, the water is clear blue and the people are some of the nicest I've ever met in my life. We all know that when travelling to a foreign country, we have to expect that some of the luxuries we're used to in the states just don't exist when we're in these places. Like Dunkins on every corner, top notch health care or a police force who gives a shit. The Aruban cops proved in 05 that they can't, nor do they want to solve crimes. Sure they go through the motions but they're not hoping to find anything. If your economy was based 100% on tourism, would you want to solve a murder on your home soil? The answer is no and to be honest, half of my selfish ass is happy about this because I know when I travel there every year, I won't get my balls busted about minor things like drinking in public, public nudity or a harmless case of challenging local cabbies to fist fights. This brings me to my next point, we're lucky that the people of Aruba don't kill us or drown us at sea more often because when we visit their home, we act like assholes. We drink like fish, make a menace of ourselves at the restaurants and fuck up local traffic in our Kia rental cars. Everyone has a breaking point so maybe they're reaching theirs after putting up with years of Massholes asking where El Gaucho was while drinking a Balashi and wearing a Disney World button down because we think it's ok to wear anything while on vacation. Don't get me wrong, I hope they find this girl alive and well but my opinion is that regardless of the outcome and who's to blame in this case, Aruba will be blamed and a boycott will be called for. On the bright side, maybe that would lower airfare and I could visit One Happy Island twice in 2011.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
It's a well known fact that most guys either don't attend any of their high school reunions or they do so reluctantly at the incessant nagging that comes along with having a wife. Then there are a small percentage of guys who seemingly have been waiting for this night since the last reunion, counting the days until they can meet up with all the "friends" from their class that they have had daily contact with on Facebook. These are the guys who will travel great distances to have a night of reminiscing with members of a class who have long since forgotten who they were or simply don't give a shit about them. I recently attended my wife's 20th and I had a great time but with the amount of drinks my buddy and I had, we could have had a good time getting a ball removed. There were all the people at this event that you would expect: the girl that used to be hot who is now taking up way too much space, the smart girls who have great careers and make you feel completely shitty about your own career, the drunken idiots who are still drunken idiots (these guys are the best) and the people who still live in a world where the most best days of their lives were lived in high school. These are the people I have a major problem with. If the best days of your life was in high school then lets face it, you must be a real douche. Kids in high school are dumb as shit. They think they know everything and that's what makes them unbearable. I know this because for 4 years, actually, we'll call it six because I'm a slow learner, I was one of these people. Do you know how many times I heard my father utter the words "you're gonna regret this later in life"? He must have said that to me 3 times a day for 4 years and he was 100% right. When you run into people like this, you know it immediately because they are 1. Right on time for the event 2. Way happier than everyone else 3. Wearing sneakers with a shirt and tie and most importantly 4. ALONE. Steer clear of these people at all cost because when you run into them, after an awkward hug and a few uncomfortable minutes of small talk, they will ask you for your contact info and then you will never escape. If you are one of these people, please delete this link, stop counting the days to your 25th and fuck off.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
I'm happy to report to all of our loyal followers who have missed us over the past two months, our blog lockout has been resolved. I'll spare you the boring details, but I will say this: Tom's Angry is back. The owners finally came together and made the determination that this is bigger that petty differences. Our loyal fans need us to continue to deliver up to date, cutting edge, one sided opinions (often downright ridiculous) to the public on a consistent basis. So as I've stated in the past, sit back and relax and enjoy our rants of insanity and impure thoughts. More to follow........
Saturday, June 18, 2011
For a real long time it wasn't easy being a Boston sports fan. Growing up as a child, we had Celtics championships but I was too young to really appreciate the importance. As I grew older, like most guys in Massachusetts, my world revolved around the professional sports teams in Boston. Needless to say, most years were filled with heartbreak, letdowns and unfilled promises of certain championships only to be lost in ways that would defy the odds. This all changed in 2001 when the Pats beat the St Louis Rams in Superbowl XXVI. The Patriots were the biggest underdogs in Superbowl history at that point in time and they defied all odds and won with a solid team effort. In doing that, they paved the way for all Boston teams to break so called "curses" and 39 and 86 year droughts. In the following years after 01, the Sox won the World Seried in 04 & 07, the Pats won Superbowls again in 04 and 05. The C's won one in 08 with the original Big Three and the B's of course recently just made the most historic run in Cup history by winning 3 game sevens in one postseason. One guy called it on a recent blog post but he doesn't like to gloate. Anyway, my point is this, Boston has come a long way in the 38 years I've lived here. We're no longer the loveable losers, we're the winners you love to hate and you know what, I'll take that label any day of the week. My nephew is 15 and he's already seen 7 rolling rallies and what that translates to me is that there are only more to come. Hats off to all the ownerships and management of the four major sports teams in Boston. They've put this city in the best position possible: no championship any given year equates to a failure. As fans, what more can we ask for? They have changed the landscape of Boston sports forever and they have made us "Titletown".
Monday, June 13, 2011
After the Heat dropped the Finals 4-2 against the Mavs, Lebron responded to a question regarding all his haters out there by saying "they will still have their lives and personal problems tomorrow and I can live the way I want and do whatever I want to do". I hope whatever he wants to do doesn't include scoring in the 4th quarter because he proved he can't do that.